Ever noticed that it’s a lot easier to be loving, compassionate, and forgiving with others than it is with ourselves? Sometimes we all fall to that little voice inside of us. It’s all too easy to listen to that inner dialogue that is often as nasty as a social media troll. It’s that voice that constantly tells you that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough–you name it. The funny thing is that those internal voices we give ourselves are often mess with our body image more than anything else.
So why does this happen? Why are we so quick to put ourselves down, especially when it comes to what we see in the mirror?
Let’s think about the world around us. There are messages everywhere that encourage us all to doubt our worthiness, and with the idea that you have to be “better” if you want love, connection, or attention.
Before you know it, you start believing that you’re not OK the way you are. But, the truth is that you were born worthy. You don’t need to earn the right to love, connection, and attention. Once you take that to heart, you’ll find that negative voice inside is pretty useless. But how do you turn that constant mind-jabber off? How do you step into your confidence, remember your worth, and start feeling free within your own body regardless of what that voice has to say?
You could try and force the nasty self-talk to stop. You could try to force yourself into a place of self-love before you’re ready to believe it. But if you’re anything like me, you know from experience that this pathway doesn’t get you where you want to go. You see, change coming from fear isn’t sustainable. If you want lasting change, it’s got to come from a place of genuine love.
Practicing loving thoughts AND actions, and making a conscious choice to practice them consistently.
Because something magical happens when you make loving thoughts and actions as a practice…
Eventually, you start seeing everything from a perspective of love. You start rewiring your brain to see the beauty in everything, yourself included. Over time, it changes your actions, your behaviour, and the way that you show up in the world for the better.
No pushing, or forcing required!
So, how do you start? How do you drop the fight with that inner critic and make peace with her once for all?
This is what I teach my clients, how to CHOOSE how you want to feel. Do you want to embody fear, doubt, and shame…OR would you rather choose love, compassion, and grace?
Three Ways to Shut Down Negative Self Talk
1. Observe Your Thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, you can have two choices: either believe them or observe them. I suggest you observe them, and then separate yourself from them.
2. Recognize and reassure.
The next step is to recognize that thoughts are nothing but habits and patterns. Most of them are on repeating loops, and they’re patterned and automatic.
You can choose the thoughts that you focus on. You have the power to choose what thoughts you want to keep and which ones you’d rather let go.
But if you let your thoughts run on autopilot, they are running the show. So for best results, choose your thoughts wisely.
As you observe your thoughts, then, recognize that they may be flowing through your mind, but they are not a reflection of your true self.
The second part of step two is reassurance. No matter what your thoughts might try to convince you of, reassure yourself that you are capable. You are worthy. And you are loved.
3. Embrace Your Truth and Take Action
It takes more than just repeating positive words to make a change – you need to take action.
Many of the women I work with come to me with the desire to lose weight. And nearly all of them tell me that they’ve been putting off buying new clothes until they’ve gotten down to the size they want to be.
Here’s where we take a completely different approach…
We encourage them to take what sounds like the last step FIRST. That is, go out and buy something new right NOW. Something that would inspire and uplift them. And don’t wait until you’ve dropped 20 pounds or are a “perfect” size.
Why? Because when you step into your new lifestyle like this, you’re acting as if you’re already “there”. You’re putting yourself in the place of a woman who already has what you want right now.
It’s choosing something that makes you feel inspired and empowered right now, no matter what size you are
About the Author
Karen has over 20 years of combined experience as a personal trainer, nutritionist, transformation expert and holistic health coach. Her holistic health coaching offers an individualized process to help you move forward in life and to end the diet/binge cycle for good. Karen has had tremendous success working with people of all walks of life including high profile athletes and executives. She truly believes that every […]Read Bio Read Posts